Saturday, December 21, 2013

Lots of talking && love for friends and more~

I've really taken light to this whole... generalizing thing that I do lately due to some incidents in my life. I say everyone as a whole is bad, due to some bad individuals I allowed to invade my space. Luckily I have an amazing lovebug and great friends here to back me up and not only remind me when I'm doing things that are negative and not progressive to my mental health and wellbeing, but to show me that the believe that I don't hate everyone, I just hate certain individuals can still ring true. Tonight I'm showing off a dress by Katat0nik which makes me super happy just by looking at it. It's not lolita, but it's comfortable and modest still... with a sense of innocence and adorableness that I don't believe could have been captured better. I feel like what's shown in this dress is part of what I love about the friends I remain closest with.

I've had some bad run ins with everyone I've known, and while things come to be not how I expect or want sometimes, lovebug has taught me to accept things as they are. The people I keep around are the ones I can tell my feelings to and have them do the same. Accept them as they are and not try to fight for who is and isn't right. In the end, right doesn't matter when it comes to people's thoughts and feelings. If something is there it's because something else brought it to life. These people can take and understand that and give more thought to whether or not they feel they, or I, need to apologize without jeapordizing the entire friendship and repeatedly defending themselves through snide comments until a fight breaks out. I've had a LOT of the other kind of people in my life living in Philadelphia most of my life where it's common to use the idea of 'brotherly love' and stab your brother in the back if it can get you somewhere in life.

It was so common that I not only accepted and welcomed these kinds of people in to my life but sought them out as they were who I was comfortable with. Since April I have moved away from there and have been learning a lot about myself and what I do and don't like that people do. I'm what my therapist likes to call logic sick, so she's spent some time with me working on just liking or disliking things. Not, “I don't like this because blahblah logic how it is terrible and awful and against common sense and shouldn't exist at all” Just, “I don't like it because it makes me feel bad” feelings are another thing I'm very not used to... which is why I try to encapture things that make me feel good on my blog just because they.. make me feel good. With no reasons other than that.

This scene is one of those. I've always loved the idea of baking holiday cookies and getting down and dirty and covered in flour and having a blast and laughing in a small homey kitchen with close friends or family. It's never been something I could live. Closest was when I'd bake cookies with my aunt sometimes in the year or two I lived with her. Happiest years of my life, even still, because I was normal for once. In FL away from the bad influence of Philly. Working and making friends and following the things I loved heavily. LIKE COWS. Why I filled it with Half Deer's Yaks. <3

These details are another. People can slap textures on to premade mesh dresses all day and while some may do a damn good job of it, nothing can take my breath away more than seeing the hard work put into not only completely meshing a dress but also creating a texture just for it. One that has the perfect look of a knitted sweater with to die for little polar bears in them. Hng. <3 I may like a lot of work from a lot of designers, but in the lolita world there is no one I respect more than Pepper and Kat because their stuff is all original mesh and textures. (Some people even take textures off the internet. :/ You people should seriously do some research and see what you're paying for!)

People like my Aubsie, who I got a little pouty and standoffish about after her visit because I felt she was ashamed of me only to realize it was her own discomfort of having met someone from the internet irl (something I do often) that left the impressions I took as something else. Came back as just who they were before they left even despite me becoming standoffish until our friendship was where it was because of all things, her strongest point is understanding unbiasedly. Which is funny because she's spoiled rotten, so being able to see things from my poor and horrid part of life is rare.
People like my Lilis who is the sunshine on my raniest day and comes through with life and world experience as well as logic and inside understanding from a pshycological standpoint because we've gone through and react to things in similar ways. Doesn't matter how down I am, a few minutes of her skittering across my screen in her cute Aos and talking me through things can help turn my frown upside down. She's as beautiful inwardly and outwardly irl as she is on SL and I am super lucky to have her brought in to my life randomly by a lolita not lolita fair that I was hating on. We give as much as we take from each other, and it's something I love more than anything else. Never are we left playing tug-o-war and trying to get more rope or more of the friendship on one side than the other. If we need a day to pout and throw toys, we have it. If we need support, we have it. I fluffs my Lilis. <3
Peoples like my Caxy who despite not having a lot of time makes me feel like the time he spends with me is one of the best parts of his day. Someone who never once hit on me (Thankfully but he is gay so maybe it's because I lack the peen? XD) or tried to get weird or sexual on SL even though he's a male and that's super rare. Most of my other male friends make things suuuper awkward sometiiimes. He's fun and funny and enjoys my sense of humor and being around me no matter how crazy I am. Be it up or down. If I'm hyper he's there to rile me up. If I'm down he's there to listen to me rant... and even after I rant there is never permanent judgement passed on the things I rant about. Say I tell him lovebug's a big meanie? And then the next day say I was just huffy and lovebug didn't do anything, even if I SWEAR he's a big meanie, Caxy just sees him as lovebug and not as whatever monster I painted of him while huffy. I, of course, give him the same when he needs it, and try to help through logical understanding (Lol logic sick ne?) as well as emotional understanding.. but I fail at emotionnnnnss! All in all we have a tons of fun together and spend nearly every day together without getting sick of each other or having any fights at all~

What I love about all them, and the others that I keep in my life and close to me now, is that they know how to be all about themselves in the ways needed to be to progress with their own lives without being harmful to others. I attract people who are harmful, and I'm learning every day not to. Thanks guys, and everyone else out there who has learned how to be all about you enough to take care of you without harming others; be it financially, emotionally, mentally, physically, or a mix of the group. Being strong is really something to look up to. Thank everyone for their strength around me as I find my own. <3

I'm really making you read for it today, hm? XP



Body Stuffs;

Swirly in Darks Pack by Rosy Mood !!New @ RMK Frost Fair!!!

Clothing Stuff;
Cozy Knit Jumper in Blush by Katat0nik !!Now @ C88!!!
Cosy Boots in Blush by Katat0nik !!Now @ C88!!!

Extras && Accessories;

Bearmuffs in creamsicle by Noodles !!Now @ C88!!!
::Earrings & Necklace::
Let it Snow by Cae !!Now @ Bubblegum Alley!!!
Frost Lipstick 2 by C h a r y !!Now @ F R O S T!!!

Elegant 1 Hands by Slink worn with appliers by Intrepid which are a gift at F R O S T

House Stuff;

6 – Pale Winter Candy Canes by Lark !!Now @ Garden. Gacha!!!
Stuffed Stocking in Red Plaid RARE by BA !!Now @ Garden. Gacha!!!
Love Sign by Alouette !!Now @ Garden. Gacha!!!
Cute Harajuku Christmas tree by Harajuku Girls
Marmalade Christmas baking set and snacks set all items !!Now @ Holiday Sweets & Treats fair!!!
Winter Yak in Special Delivery, Brown, Cozy, and Angelic by Half Deer. !! Now @ Garden. Gacha!!!
Candy Cane Lights by CT !!Now @ Arcade. Gacha!!!
Candy Jar in Grape tall, spearment sticks, strawberry sticks, and spilled sticks by LJ. !!Now @ Holiday Sweets & Treats Fair. Gacha!!!
Ready to bake Cookie Tins, Spices & Flavorings, measures, and baking pans by Second Spaces !!Now @ Arcade. Gacha!!!
Wisk (set in Yak's mouth), wooden spoons, and bowl of flour by Pixel Mode !!Now @ Arcade. Gacha!!!
Christmas cookies & Christmas pudding by Apple Falls !!Gacha!!!
Hot Chocolate Marshmellows, Hot Chocolate Vanilla, Hot chocolate Cream, Milk Jug, and waffle Rolls by Erratic !!Now @ Arcade. Gacha!!!
Cookie Jars in blue, scale in black, and bakeware by Tes Blah !!Now @ Arcade. Gacha!!!
Aphrodite Blender by Marina Ramer
Cutting Board by Black Rose
Laurel Cottage Mixing Bowl and Pastry by What Next

&& I think that's all. I had a lot to say about the goodies, but I made you read enough, hm? I'm two hours late butbut.. it still got done.. tonight? XP <3 See you all on Monday!

In case you need a ride. D; <3


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